Because I Said So
Mandy Moore describing an orgasm: That’s about the only amusing moment in this dreadful mother-daughter comedy, which stars Diane Keaton as Moore’s mom. Usually it’s hard to blame good actors for appearing in bad movies because the final product is so divorced from their control, but this looks like the rare occasion where the talented cast knew things weren’t going well, because Keaton and Moore work so hard to sell every lame and cringe-worthy scene. Watching them rearrange furniture together is about as much fun as, well, moving furniture oneself. About 20 minutes in, when Keaton accidentally stumbles onto some online porn and her dog gets excited and starts humping the furniture, I wrote in my notebook, “Can I go home now?”
The premise would only make sense if Moore, 22, were at least 10 years older: She runs a successful catering business (!!) but is unlucky in love, and Keaton, afraid that her youngest daughter will die alone (!!), takes out an online ad to begin screening potential mates. From the minute we see a sensitive musician played by Gabriel Macht and a smooth alpha-tool played by Tom Everett Scott, we know how this is going to play out, although there is one wrinkle: Moore simultaneously dates, and sleeps with, both of them for what looks like a period of a few months, and neither is the wiser, and the movie offers no criticism whatsoever of this slutty behavior. Apparently “Because I Said So” takes place in a parallel universe where STDs don’t exist. Yet it’s not a universe I’m eager to visit.